Should you be content with what you have, or should you strive for more?
My initial thought is that you should always desire to do better and get more out of life. But it may not be that simple (otherwise the question wouldn’t come up.)
Here’s a scenario. You live in a 2000 square foot home. You become unsatisfied with what you have and take the approach of improving this area of your life. You work for years and eventually upgrade to a 5000 square foot home.
Okay, so was it worth it? What if you had to work 80 hours a week for 10 years to afford the bigger house? If it was work you did not enjoy and you did not need or want the house very badly, then your reward is not worth it. And what if you enjoyed the work? Anything you can stand to do 80 hours a week must be a reward in itself — so what was the house for?
Or suppose you’re thinking about an area of your life where you already have some level of accomplishment. Let’s pretend it’s hockey. Should you constantly work to improve yourself, waking up at 5 am to practice your skills, shooting pucks against your basement wall, and stickhandling in the kitchen? Or do you just stay where you are and enjoy a pickup game once a week?
It all depends on your hierarchy of values. If becoming the best hockey player you can be is the most important thing to you, then you would arrange everything else in your life — your job, where you live, etc. — to allow for the fulfillment of that goal.
If hockey is not your top value but is an enjoyable part of your life, you have to ask yourself what doing better would look like. How much money would it cost? What kind of time would you have to put into it? Which other activities would it displace? What might you have to give up to make this a higher priority?
Just because you can accomplish more in a certain field does not mean that you have to.
Another factor that influences whether you will choose to be content or strive for more is whether your focus is on the present or the future.
If your focus is on the present moment, then a long-term goal will be out of reach. Thinking of the future in general would be a source of anxiety. You don’t have to be an animal or a hippie to be trapped by a short-term focus. You could be pessimistic, afraid, extremely uncertain, or depressed.
If your focus is on the future, then working toward a desired state will not only be the means of reaching your goal, but will also allow you to enjoy the certainty of being on a definite path. That could make your present a whole lot more enjoyable. Your path might be twisty or rocky, and parts of it might be dark and unknown. Yet you should derive some satisfaction from knowing that you’re headed someplace you want to be.
Pursuing the wrong goal, although future-oriented, might leave you really miserable in the present. I think of the people who endure truly horrible jobs now so that they might reach some financial goal much later on. Is your goal worth becoming totally miserable in the present? We’re usually taught that it’s a matter of self-discipline; it’s a virtue to endure suffering now to secure a better tomorrow.
If you are pursuing a future goal but you are truly unhappy in your present state, you are on the wrong path. I am not talking about setbacks, pain, or problems. If you really want to reach your goal, those things should energize you. You should enjoy overcoming the obstacles while you stay connected to both the present (your struggle) and the future (your goal). If you have a goal that is making you truly unhappy in the present, and your unhappiness is not temporary or the result of other factors, then you have to decide how much you can tolerate in order to reach your goal.
You should strive for success in the future, and yet enjoy yourself in the present. The knowledge that you are traveling a path of your own choice can be a source of enormous satisfaction in the present, which energizes you and enables you to overcome obstacles.
If you pursue goals that truly matter to you and produce satisfaction during your pursuit, then you won’t have a conflict between remaining content to stay where you are and striving for more.
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2 Comments
i always find this one interesting, but for slightly different reasons, although do agree with you.
If you find things wrong as they are now, you will strive to make things better. If you are OK with how they are, then you may settle for how they are.
But you are supposed to focus on what is good to realize dreams. But then doesn’t that just cause things to stay as they are?
Contradiction and Confusing?
You’re right; it can be very confusing. You nailed the problem: if you achieve your dreams, do you just coast? I know that I have more thinking to do on the subject.