This time, I did not let you down. I spent the entire night on the floor, in my sleeping bag.
I feel strangely good. I’m not kidding or exaggerating when I say that I slept differently and I feel different this morning.
Because I expected having trouble falling asleep on my back, I turned off my usual 5 am alarm so that I could sleep as long as I needed. There would be a downside to this, because whenever I let myself sleep in, I feel worse than if I didn’t. It’s odd, but nearly any time I allow myself to sleep longer — and my body obviously wants the sleep — I feel groggy and mushy and more tired than if I had forced myself to stay awake with less sleep. It’s strange that giving my body the extra sleep it wants should make me feel so bad. It does, so I avoid sleeping in.
This morning was different. I had many awakenings during the night, and I awoke spontaneously about five minutes before my 5 am alarm. I felt rested enough that I could get up and start my day, if I needed to. But I decided to let it go and sleep in.
I had roughly another two hours of sleep with a brief awakening in the middle. And I feel great! My previous experience tells me that I should feel rotten after sleeping in like that. But I don’t. Don’t underestimate this. It is very, very rare for me to have a clear mind and good energy after sleeping in.
I still had trouble sleeping on my back. I slept for a little while on my back near the beginning, but then I experimented with other positions.
The weird thing about these positions on the floor is that they can seem to hurt, but they don’t. Sleeping on my side, I feel a lot more pressure on my shoulder than in bed. But it’s not painful. A few moments after standing up, it feels fine again.
My best guess (or hope) is that this process is like developing a muscle you don’t use often. You feel tension and pain at first, but gradually build up strength as you adapt. And adaptation takes time. This is why I committed myself to sleeping on the floor for thirty days. You can hardly judge any new activity adequately after only a few tries.
When I first started attending hockey practice, I gave myself a similar window to adapt. I had only been skating for a month by that point, so I had very rudimentary skills. I also was not used to waking up at 5 am. Basically, each hour long practice made me feel like I wanted to puke and left me in pain. My ankles were especially sore. I had never used them so much before.
I wanted to quit after the first session, and after the second one, and even after the third one.
But I knew the problems were only temporary. All I had to do was look around and see all the happy people playing hockey. It was hard, but I had to force myself through a few practices and just trust that it would work out. Fortunately, it did. By the fourth session I knew I would be playing hockey for a long time to come. That was a pretty rapid adjustment, though, and usually the process takes longer. I might adapt to sleeping the floor after only four days, or it could take the entire month. Or it might not happen at all.
The short term problems people experience when they transition to something new often make them give up. You have to look past all that and keep your vision in mind.
A really fun moment was at 5 am, when I hopped into bed for a few minutes to compare it to the floor. I was alert enough that I could trust I wouldn’t fall asleep this time. First, it definitely felt soft and inviting. By softness, I’m not referring to the way my body sank into the mattress, but to the softness of the sheets and the pillow. I’ve always liked the feeling of my feather pillow against my face and I didn’t have that all night. If I wanted that on the floor, it would be easy to arrange.
Aside from the familiar feeling of comfort, the mattress felt noticeably different. In the past, I would look forward to getting into bed and curling up without further thought. This time, after a night on the floor, I didn’t like the mattress. Something didn’t feel right. It’s very deceptive, because the sheets and the pillow felt good. My body sinking into the mattress didn’t feel so good. I hope I can describe this better in the future.
I look forward to sleeping on the floor again tonight.